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Around here, the person who cooks doesn’t clean up. That’s the family rule David and Dr. Lara Baatenburg settled on early, and it has already been tested. Lara made protein pancakes after the gym and the dog walk. David did the dishes. Whether he also cleaned the counter is still under discussion.
Nearly four months into marriage, they sat down to take stock. Both of them run on routine and both care a lot about their health, which sets up some conflict. This episode is how they’ve handled it so far.
Values first, habits second
Dr. Lara says it plainly: she would never have married someone who didn’t care about prevention. David agrees, and they both say they wouldn’t have worked as a couple earlier in life. God had them wait, in their words, because the timing wasn’t right before now.
That shared starting point matters more than any individual habit. Their differences are real, but they argue about how to get healthy, not about whether to.
Two gyms, one morning
Both of them kept their own gyms. Dr. Lara trains in a functional fitness style, which means barbells, bumper plates, and dropped weights. David goes to a bodybuilding gym. They both strength train, just differently, and they still lift together on weekends and on vacation.
Their mornings fit together. Dr. Lara is up around 4 a.m. and at the gym early, then comes home and wakes David with an energy drink. They walk the dog or dogs together, and then David heads to his own workout. Dr. Lara runs about twice a week with her dog. David walks instead, which suits her, since she doesn’t love running with other people anyway. Most evenings there’s a second walk around the neighborhood, and weekends bring more.
Sleep took the most adjusting
Before she met David, Dr. Lara was working hard at being in bed by 8:45. That plan didn’t survive. David is a 10:30 or 11 p.m. person and Lara hits a wall around 9:30, so they’ve met somewhere in the middle. Early on, when they were still dating, Lara would stay up to spend time together and pay for it the next morning. Now, if there’s a late football game, she goes to bed and David watches the rest. She’d tell you it’s the habit that has needed the most negotiating.
Calories and protein meet color and texture
David thinks in calories and protein, and a breakfast of protein bars and a shake doesn’t bother him. If a meal takes more than four minutes to put together, it’s a problem. Dr. Lara wants variety: olive oil, citrus, vegetables, fruit, different textures on the plate.
What makes it work is that their goals match. Dr. Lara says her relationship with food changed once she started strength training, and now she thinks about fuel the way David does. They meal prep more whole food than either did alone. She’ll occasionally notice a meal with nothing green on it, and she’s fine as long as the protein and carbs are right.
David sees one trap clearly. A salad bar plate loaded with shredded cheese, nuts, and ranch can go from about 350 calories to something closer to 1,400 by his math, and the person eating it thinks they’re being good. Dr. Lara has quietly cut back on cheese since they married, and she isn’t thrilled about it.
The 10 o’clock chocolate problem
Dr. Lara and her sister can keep sweets in the house for weeks without touching them. David can’t, and he’s open about it. Around 10 p.m. he becomes a different person. When Jana gave them a set of chocolate bars for a tasting, they were gone from the cupboard within a couple of nights. Dr. Lara never saw him eat any of it. David’s explanation is that he waits until she goes upstairs and then makes a quick trip to the cupboard.
His fix isn’t willpower. He buys or makes the serving he wants and doesn’t keep extra around. Some people handle constant access fine, he says, and he isn’t one of them. Dr. Lara has adjusted, and she has less time to bake than she used to anyway. She understands it better now, too. Her weakness is Ruffles potato chips, and she can’t stop once she starts.
Stress, cleaning, and what each of them reaches for
Neither of them is a high-stress person, and not much has changed here. When stress does show up, David works it out at the gym in the morning or goes for a drive with music on. Dr. Lara walks or bakes. She baked the day before her medical board exams because following a recipe forced her to focus on one thing. The other change is that she now talks things through with David, where before it was her sister.
They also both like a clean house. Monday nights are for the main floor and Thursday nights are for upstairs, and when one of them has a long day the other covers. The white lab sheds on the wood floors, so the schedule doesn’t always hold.
Faith as a daily habit
Because this is Vitals & Values, they count spiritual health as part of the picture. They pray at dinner, a habit David’s family kept for holidays and Dr. Lara’s family kept every night. After dinner they do a devotional, and by their own count they manage it about 80 percent of the time. They go to church weekly and are about to join one together. For Dr. Lara that means a bittersweet goodbye to the church she grew up in.
A merger, not a startup
Dr. Lara repeated a description she’d heard: marrying young is like starting a business, and marrying later is like merging two. Both of them already knew who they were when they met, so they weren’t growing in different directions while trying to build something together. The fit has been smooth, with some negotiation along the way. They plan to do this episode again in a year and compare notes.
Vitals & Values is the podcast of Concierge Medicine of West Michigan, hosted by Dr. David Roden and Dr. Lara Baatenburg. New episodes available wherever you listen.
